Post by Erie on Apr 1, 2006 17:00:05 GMT -5
The last day of winter was the day Lance broke up with me. He said it wasn't because of me, it was because of him. He said he'd never be able to stay here in America, because his family is planning to move to England in the summer. He also claimed that he needed to change.
Well it figures. He was wasting his life away with a girl who's never changed anyone's life before. I was in the way of getting his show on the road.
He claimed that I did change his life; that I made him a better person in a way. I made him realize things that he thought no one else would realize. He said I stopped him from cutting, or burning himself 80% of the time.
If you think you have a hard life, along with a horrible past, meet Lance.
I talked to his friend, Adrian. Adri said Lance did it out of confusion, and that he would most likely ask to have me back in a few weeks. I talked to Lance about it, too. He said he did want me back, but it was hard. What if he messed up again? His main fear is hurting me, and making me cry.
Ever since we broke up, I've been doing worse. In school, in my social life, at home...I've faked smiles and laughs more than I ever have before. And even though most nights he still tells me "I love you" before he has to leave, I wonder if he means it.
On Valentine's Day he sent me a voice recording, saying how he wished he could give me a boquet of roses, and stick a fake one in there. He said he'd put a note in it, and it would read, "I'll love you until the last rose dies."
I wonder if he means it.
He says he'll love me forever. He says after me, there's no one else.
Lance thinks maybe one day we'll be together again. But...He's going to die when he's maybe 25-40 years old. He has a heart and lung disease, and there's no cur for it. Just medication. At least 3 times a month he passes out, and has to be taken to the hospital.
I have to think about this every day. I come home every day, and I make sure he's okay. Who knows if he's at the hospital again?
I just want him back. =/
Well it figures. He was wasting his life away with a girl who's never changed anyone's life before. I was in the way of getting his show on the road.
He claimed that I did change his life; that I made him a better person in a way. I made him realize things that he thought no one else would realize. He said I stopped him from cutting, or burning himself 80% of the time.
If you think you have a hard life, along with a horrible past, meet Lance.
I talked to his friend, Adrian. Adri said Lance did it out of confusion, and that he would most likely ask to have me back in a few weeks. I talked to Lance about it, too. He said he did want me back, but it was hard. What if he messed up again? His main fear is hurting me, and making me cry.
Ever since we broke up, I've been doing worse. In school, in my social life, at home...I've faked smiles and laughs more than I ever have before. And even though most nights he still tells me "I love you" before he has to leave, I wonder if he means it.
On Valentine's Day he sent me a voice recording, saying how he wished he could give me a boquet of roses, and stick a fake one in there. He said he'd put a note in it, and it would read, "I'll love you until the last rose dies."
I wonder if he means it.
He says he'll love me forever. He says after me, there's no one else.
Lance thinks maybe one day we'll be together again. But...He's going to die when he's maybe 25-40 years old. He has a heart and lung disease, and there's no cur for it. Just medication. At least 3 times a month he passes out, and has to be taken to the hospital.
I have to think about this every day. I come home every day, and I make sure he's okay. Who knows if he's at the hospital again?
I just want him back. =/
